Goodbye mom&dad see you in the afternoon (0~7세) 취학전 아동이 있는 부모들을 위한 육아서

(0~7세) 취학전 아동이 있는 부모들을 위한 육아서 

Goodbye mom & dad

see you in the afternoon by Dr Bindu Selot

 

I am not sure if this book is published in korea.

The author is from india. And even though it is not very thick,

it has a lot of detailed information. also, my time as a mom is

always very hectic, it was easy to finish and it gave me a small 

accomplishmet.🤩 i hope also to other moms and papas , it will

be informative. I only chose the senteces needed to remember.

and i surprised to see it is very long.👀

Because as a novice mom, i am having a difficult time

to handle my son as he reaches  to his 3 years.

so more active, keep moving , touch everything even alchol, glass.

We thought he is a very naughty boy.

but after i read this book, i could know that my son's preferred

learning style was through movement, but unfortunately,

he was not being taken for any outdoor activity.

it means he has a lot of energy. But because of the coronavirus ,

baby and me didn't go out to mall at all. So we change our routine

to take him outside everyday. Jut in front of house nature walking.

So he can relieve his energy. I feel he is more happier.

 

 

1.from home to school🐣

Your child will now be entering a bigger social circle.

 

*make sure you do not make other changes in the life of your child

, like changing your maid, taking up a new job by the mother.

it is almost impossible for child to handle them.

He could not express his probrems.

your anxieties might get passed on to your child.

 

*start introducing the word "school" in your conversations.

you can also talk about your experiences when you were a child.

make sure you are excited, enthusiastic, and positive when you

talk about school to your child.

 

*involve your child in purchasing a lunch box, school bag,

water bottles, and so on. Let your child choose these items.

 

*let your child choose a small toy from home to carry to school

which are called transition objects. The child feels safe.

 

*a night before the first day, avoid saying " i hope you will not

cry tomorrow when i leave you, mommy will come back soon.

it is normal for children to cry initially, for a few days.

validate the emothion of your child. It is acceptable to cry for

a while.

 

*do not prolong your goodbye.

 

*make sure your child is well rested the day before beginning

school.

 

*do not force-feed your child milk or other eatables

in the morning.

 

*pick up your child immediately,

as soon as the school gets over, 

do not be late.

 

*never get disappear without saying a proper goodbye and

informing the child that you will return to pick him or her up.

 

2. early formative years 🧩

the most formative period of your child's life is from 0-8 years

age.but the most important are the preschool years,

that is from 0-4 years.

 

*children can't go on repeating actions on the same connections.

 

*the brain of a child is just like the dark night sky with stars shining.

there are uncountable brain cells or neurons,

which need to be connected to one another,

and the connection will only happen with

the right kind of stimulation and exposure. 

unfortunately, those neurons which are not used

will get discarded by the time

the child reaches then years of age.

 

*it means they need a well-desgined environment,

which can't be ensured by the school.

 

*dr believed that the amount is 40% nature or genes and 60 %

nurture or environment.

 

*talk to your child as much as you can about any

and everything in the environment.

Be sure you talk in full sentences and have eye contact.

 

*children hate repitition in their routine.

 

*do not try to multitask. It doesn't work that way.

 

*read to your children daily. Children relate a lot to animals.

Maybe just ten minutes daily. Drop everything and read.

it's not just reading text, but pictorial reading or picture reading.

 

*involve your children in daily household chores

so that they feel responsible.

 

*take your child for playing outdoors on a daily basis.

sliding, running, cycling and so on.

 

*prepare for your child a lot of material to play with

different kinds of paper, puzzles and books.

 

*be a good role model.

 

*you shouln't be so over protective your child.

 

*If you love your child give the best gift- high self-esteem and 

unconditional love.

 

Case 1

child didn't listen to the teacher.

whenever the child wanted her mother, she would invariably be busy 

with other chores and would ask the maid to take care of her.

-(solution) the mother started being more available to her child.

the child became started listening to adults because adults at home 

were listening to her now.

 

Case2

the child was hitting and pushing other children

after school the child was sleeping for two hours and watch tv for

2 hours. no any outdoor activity.

(solution) replace tv time with outdoor play time.

so his energy was being channelized.

 

3. Parents as the correct role models 👨‍👩‍👦

*They will always remember one thing,

that is how you made them feel.

 

*if you want your child to respect you,

you need to respect your elders.

 

*whatever you say ,

you should practice it.

 

*if you want your children to be fluent

in spoken english, reply

english.and do not criticize. Have patience,

keep conversing in english.

 

*the most important thing is to hear

without being judgemental,critical, or a solution provider.

 

4. Mealtime challenge 🍅

* the most common concerns of parents is always related to food.

the mealtime of their child has become a big-time task to handle.

 

*never ever force-feed the child. The child is stressed.

 

*make sure that you give child-sized portions only.

 

*involve your child in the process of serving food.

get the child to help you lay the table.

this is because the child was involved and felt in control.

 

*give snacks one or two hours before meals.

 

*do not make the tv the mealtime babysitter.

 

*above all, let your child feel hungry before mealtimes.

 

*don't be perfectionists. For example, when the child drop food,

do not ciriticize them.

 

5. Validate your child's emotions 😂

*emotional validation is one of the most important tools in the

hands of parents. It is much more important how you make them

feel at various points in their lives.

 

*even if we are feeling unhappy, we need to talk about out feelings.

you need to tell them it's ok to cry or angry.

 

*don't be judgemental or critical.

Instead ,the most of the time what 

the children need is empatheic listening.

You must see the whole picture

before passing a judgement as a parent.

 

*never ever force your child to share his or her toys with your

friend's child.

 

*it's not a great idea to expose your children

to fairy tales or mythological 

stories before they are six years old.

 

*as a parent, you must never get into an ego conflict

with your childre.

so do not go by the literal meaning.

Understand the hidden emotion.

 

6. Your child's sleep time 😴

* Age group of 3-5 need about 11-13 hours

of sleep every night.

 

*it is better if the children sleep continuously

for 10-11 hours everynight, rather than sleeping in bits

and pieces during the day.

 

*there are some parents whose children are highly energetic.

They make them sleep in the afternoon to get some peace.

But this has an opposite effect. 

The children feel more energized when they wake up.

They are wide awake till midnight and

refuse to sleep at all.

 

*if they fall alseep on their own in the afternoon,

should be allowed to take a one-hour nap.

Do not force your children to take a nap in the afternoon 

just because others are doing it.

Every child is unique.

 

*never force your child to sleep if he or she doesn't

want to sleep. do not wait for him or her to get up on their own.

Wake them up after one hour or at the most, after two hours.

 

*children should not watch tv at least one hour prior to sleep.

 

*make sure the room is dark.

 

*never ever force them to sleep by inducing fear.

 

*if the child wet his or her bed, instead of criticizing ,

you should give them a lot of comfort.

 

7. What is the work of your child-play, learn, eat, or sleep? 🤔

what is thier priority out of the four activities of the child?

Research says that playing is the first priority of the child.

As they play, they learn. After playing and learing,

they are hungry, so eating comes third in their

list and their last priority is sleeping.

 

*make sure your children go out every day for outdoor play,

at least for 1-2 hours.

 

*peer group interation is a very important part of play

 

*initating a conversation around of the play is very important.

 

*children are very fond of playing with music,

water and sand. They love playing with colours.

They love poring water from one tumbler to another.

 

*they can't go on playing with the same toy again and again.

 

*on a daily basis, mothers should set aside some time and

ask the child to lead.

 

*let your children scribble and draw.

 

*play with dry and wet flour.

 

*children learn a lot through role play.

 

*have "newspaper rains.

Both you can tear these into small pieces and

throw them.

 

*they are excited about verbal play.

You can ask them to scream, sing, or make silly sounds.

 

*play hide and seek their toys, dolls and puzzles.

 

*allow children to go for unstructured play with

her friends in the park, where they gather leaves,

run behind butterflies and observe the ants.

 

8. Is your tv a babysitter? 👀

 

*watching tv is primarily taking time away from

other activities needed for the physical, social ,

emotional, cognitive, and language development.

 

*unlimited and unmonitered tv viewing can reduce

the attention span in children.

 

*watching tv before bedtime can lead to sleep probrems

for pre-schoolers. parents must turn the tv off at least 60 mins

before the children get tucked in to go to sleep.

 

*if your child is between 2-5 years old, tv viewing should not be

more than one hour per day.

 

*let there be only one tv in the house.

 

*instead of watching tv, enroll your child for an active hobby class

like dance, a particular sport or swimming. Nature walk. Take out

your old photo albums. Have some hands-on fun. Bubble bath play.

Create a scrap book. coloring, pasting, cutting and tearing.

Plant seeds together. Have a crazy photo shoot.

 

9. Understanding the looker, listener, and mover in your child ⚽️

Our little ones, too have their own preferred learing styles.

they fall in three categories. lookers, listeners, and movers.

 

*if your child always wanting to touch everything and

explore surroundings, they are not naughty but prefer

to learn through movement. When your child talks endlessly,

wants you to narrate poems and stories and

nevery tired of talking  and asking questions,

this child is learing through listening and talking.

and when your child always wants to be the last to take his

or her turn in a game, do not push the child

becuase they are learning by observing others.

 

*the best is if children learn all the three styles together.

 

*allow your child to express through brush and paints.

 

*role plays are very helpful.

Your child can become the doctor and you the patient.

 

*let your child wash all the toys.

 

*there is nothing like shy children.

These are children who are great observers and analyzers

and take thier time to decide to act.

 

*whenever your child calls you attend the child.

Take that call because it might not come back ever again.

 

*discover your child's untapped potential

by offering new experiences.

 

*give 100per cent attention to your child every day,

at least for 10-20 mins. At that time, do not multitask.

 

*respond to your child's behaviour.

Behind every behaviour, there are some emotional needs.